ellen's advice of the day

i have a knack for breaking jewelry... specifically necklaces. specifically long necklaces with some sort of something on the end of it.

i did just this to one of my favorite necklaces while i was visiting friends in kansas city. today on the phone, my mom inquired as to why it's always long necklaces with heavier objects on the end of them. i replied, "well this one was because i was an idiot and was dancing really hard while swinging it around my neck," to which she responded, "how about this? from now on, don't wear those types of necklaces if you're at work or dancing" (she says this because my last necklace like this one i broke while sitting at my desk at work - NOT MY FAULT, IT JUST HAPPENED). and my response to her was, "but, mom, those are the only two things i do. if i'm not dancing, i'm working and vice versa. so now what?" "well," she said, "i guess this means you can only wear these types of necklaces while in the comfort of your own home when you are sitting still."

so there you have it, people. take it from ellen. wearing long, fancy necklaces is only safe when you are sitting completely still. otherwise, shit's gonna get fucked up. it just sucks that my 2 hobbies in life are working and dancing - nothing in between. good bye, long necklaces....

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