tuna sandwiches

i'd like to tell you a story.

once upon a time, there was a girl who worked at her job across town from where her parents lived. one night, it was raining cats and dogs, so the girl decided it'd be a fun outing to grab an after-work beer with her co-workers. you should know that this girl lived not more than 5 minutes from any and every bar in town. so, throughout the day the girl usually spoke with her lovely mother who loves her daughters more than anything in the world. but on this particular night, the mother was extremely worried about her daughter driving in the rain to get a beer and then drinking A beer and driving home afterwards.... after having ONE beer.

she argued with her daughter continuously while her daugther kept her foot down and said, "mother, stop it. i am an adult and i live 5 minutes from every bar in town and i can handle myself in the rain after 1 beer." well, the mother just would not stop and finally offered the perfect solution. "how about instead of driving 2 seconds down the road to mingle with your co-workers, you drive 20 minutes across town in the rain on the highway and come home to me and have a tuna sandwich for dinner."

yes, that was her suggestion. rather than me drive 5 minutes to a bar, have 1 drink and drive 5 minutes home, she thought it safer to have me drive clear across town to come have..... a tuna sandwich. and if you say "tuna sandwich" in a Jewish NYC accent, it makes it even better.

there are many tuna fish in the sea, but only one Mother Ellen.