as children, we tend to hear the same phrases over and over:
"don't take candy from a stranger"
"don't answer the door until you've checked to see who it is"
"don't eat the dog's food. i know it tastes good, trust me. i've had my moments. but it's just not normal, honey."
last fall, when i had just moved back to my hometown to start adulthood, i suppose i had my first and last stranger-danger brain fart. it was a dark and stormy night (no, really), and i was making my weekly nighttime grocery run to the market that's central to the center of town. it was a particularly heavy-handed grocery night - i had a lot of bags and not enough arms. somehow, though, i managed to assemble everything on my body and carry it out to my car. i had just finished closing the backdoor and climbing into my driver's seat when i heard a rap on the passenger's window.
let me remind you, it really WAS dark and stormy. it was during whatever month it was more or less monsooning here in dallas. so, needless to say, i was flustered as hell with all of my groceries and bags and plastic getting wet and trying to get into my car and back to the bat cave.
so, back to the window rapping. it was all like "yo yo yo and a hoe hoe hoe, put me down fast and i'll make ya drive slow!" no, but it was a woman who had knocked on the passenger's window. she was standing out in the pouring rain, so i guess my last ounce of human decency kicked in and i actually ROLLED THE WINDOW DOWN.
i know, i know. i'm an idiot. but it happened and that's why i'm sharing it with you right now. the woman kind of looked like this:
"excuse me!" she yelled through the rain. "can you please give me a ride home? i'm with my child and we have no way of getting home."
i saw no child in sight, and it was then when my survival instincts took a huge crap all over my decency.
"no. no. sorry. i can't. no. bye."
vrrrrrooooommmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!! i went. never to see the crazy woman and her "child" again.
therein ends my story of the closest i've ever come to meeting my own end by way of stranger-danger. i hope this will serve as a lesson to all of you to not be idiots.