bleeding gums and leotards

i was thinking the other day (something i do often) and compiled a top 3 list in my head. i'll let you take a guess what the category was:

a) sisterly moments
b) chipotle combinations
c) nicki minaj songs

if you guessed b or c, i like the way you think, but you're wrong (for the record, i have one chipotle combination i never stray from and "save me" "muny" and "super bass" are my new favorite nicki songs).

for no reason whatsoever, i decided on 3 key moments from my childhood that involve my sister and that really made an impression on me. as a disclaimer, all of these memories took place in our childhood home of stamford, connecticut. without further adieu, let's proceed:


moment #3: our first attempt at a piggy back ride

we were around the ages of 5 and 6. one boring, east coast day, allie suggested we test out this phenomenon we had heard whisperings of called a "piggy back ride." highly doubting her little self could support my little self (and probably having no clue what the term "doubting" meant), i agreed to test the muddy waters (pig pun completely intended). she instructed me to climb onto the living room couch and mount her back. once securely wrapped around her like a baby monkey, she took a step and a half forward, and as though it was in slow motion, our bodies fell straight forward in one smooth, crashing motion. i landed directly on my face and came up with bleeding gums.

PROFUSELY bleeding gums. i screamed. allie screamed. my mom ran in and screamed. everything past that is a blur, but i do remember laying on the cold kitchen floor tile while my mom held a wet rag to my gums, all the while berating my sister: "WHY did you do this? do you see what you did your sister? her gums are BLEEDING, allie! BLEEDING!" my poor sister. so caring, so maternal by nature. she probably wanted to throw herself off of something for wronging her little cub. but i guess that's what you get for braving the elements and by elements i mean a piggy back ride.


moment #2: the leaning tower of allie's bookcase

my sister had this old wooden bookcase in her bedroom in connecticut (that actually now resides in my parent's house in plano). in it were not only series upon series of books, but her stereo, vases, trinkets, etc. one boring, east coast afternoon, i sauntered into her room to browse her collection of reading material as i was bored and wanted to treat it like the local library (side note: i use to be the BIGGEST book worm. i actually really miss it and wish i hadn't stopped. alcohol, boys and life get in the way, though. in that order).

anyhoo, i crouched down in front of the bottom of the bookcase where the main collection of books were stowed. "hmm," i thought to myself. "babysitter's club or another stab at trying to get into the nancy drew novels?" it was then that i decided to rest both of my arms on either bookcase door and distribute my entire body weight to the very bottom fourth of the bookcase itself. again, as if in slow motion, i looked up and realized the bookcase was slowly, but surely falling over. i don't remember doing it, but i must've let out a scream, because RIGHT as the bookcase was coming down and about to smash me clear in the head, my sister rounded the corner into her bedroom and dove over my body, sacrificing herself to the falling bookcase.

amazing, right? she freaking saved my life (kind of). unfortunately, the bookcase still nicked my head just a bit, and again, i found myself in my mother's arms with a wet washcloth being held to my scalp. but, the point is.... allie was an 8-year-old superhero.


moment #1 (the best one): gymnastics gone wrong

allie and i were those kids who were forced into gymnastics against our will, pretended to be decent at the bars, and only really looked forward to hiding in the foam-cube pit at the end of each session. the leotards were also a huge plus. i had one that was black and hot pink with tiny pink hearts all over it and more or less never took it off - gymnastics or not.

one night on the drive home, my sister and i both realized we each really needed to tinkle... badly. it's all we talked about the entire way home. mind you, this is still around the ages of 6 and 7. as soon as we got into the house, allie made a bee-line for the downstairs bathroom. having to pee so bad i was crippled, i could do nothing but stand directly in front of her as she peed, all the while exclaiming "HURRY, ALLIE! PLEASE!!!" and do you know what that little bitch did? took her fucking time. not only did she continue to announce how good it felt to pee, but she purposely moved as slowly as she could, taking a full minute to gather toilet paper from the roll. no worries, though. i retaliated. i peed all over the floor. that's right. instead of a) going upstairs to the second bathroom or b) having control over my body, i let loose all over the floor as she screamed. and i'll tell you this.... it felt GOOD.

my top 3 sisterly moments. there are hundreds more, but these are the ones that branded my connecticut childhood.

love you, sissy. :)

-emma