the waitress who knew too little

sounds like an edgar allan poe poem, right? no? eff off.

i am typically a very calm, polite patron at restaurants. i think my good friends and family can vouche for that. i never cause a scene besides maybe sending a drink or a bowl of soup back if it wasn't what i was looking for (and i always do it very kindly: "i'm so sorry and i know i'm being a huge pain right now, but this just wasn't what i was hoping it would be. would you mind taking it back, bitch?"). and all this is mainly because waitresses and waiters never really cause any problems for me. yes, some tend to be slower than others or one might leave the mayo on when i specifically asked for it on the side, but all-in-all, i thoroughly enjoy the entire dining experience and i believe it enjoys me.

HOWEVER (yeah, it was coming), something extraordinary happened this past weekend at one of the most beloved drinking joints in the city (it rhymes with spoon).

6 of us were sitting at a booth. it was a saturday night, so naturally, it was busy. i handed the waitress a $20 bill to cover my drinks for the night because i didn't want to start a tab. it's just nicer sometimes to have it over and done with rather than be reminded of your stupid decision to continue spending money on unneeded beverages.

upon her appearance to take our 2nd drink order, she asked me directly, "and you gave me the $20 in cash, right?" "yeah!" i responded pleasantly.

10 minutes later she arrives with our 2nd round of drinks.

"here's your vodka soda"
"thank you!"
"and that'll be $6"
"... what?"
"it's $6"
"i gave you that $20, remember?"
"uh no you didn't"
this is when OHNOYOUDIDN'T emma arrived on the scene
"what? we JUST had this conversation. you just asked me if i was the one who gave you $20 and we both agreed that i did."
"ummm no. THAT girl did (points to friend across table), but you didn't"
i dig into my purse indignantly and pull out $2
"well, it's not in here and you just asked me if it was me and i told you yes."
"pretty sure you didn't, but okay. that's fine." WHAT???????

did she bang her head on the bar? was she hit in the back of her brain as a child? perhaps she just has no short-term memory or has split personalities. regardless, i wanted to slap her.

there is no bottom line. the girl was not well and i lost $8 and had to pay her an extra $6 that should've been covered from my $20. needless to say, i hate her and may never pay in cash again. perhaps they named the bar after (what should be) her nickname. crazy hoe.

cheers!
emma