lost my dog and went to a bat mitzvah

because i'm going to a WORK-RELATED country show tonight (notice i capitalized the phrase WORK-RELATED just to show how much i wouldn't go to a country show if it didn't have to do with WORK), i started thinking about the lack of Jewish country singers in this nation..... and then i started making up would-be songs:

i don't drink beer and i don't drink rum
i wear a silver chai on my thumb
i have a love for "shows" and i've never camped out
take away my lox and i'll sure as shit pout
yiddle dah dee and yaddle dah do, don't mess with this country sangin' Jew

okay, so my first attempt at on-the-spot lyrical genius was pretty feeble. BUT... i have a job to do, people. i can't just sit here thinking of Jewish country song lyrics all day.

don't make me shatn you with my kak kickers

y'all come back now, ya hear? i'll make you a tuna sandwich if you do...